Goodbye Old Me

Being a mom for three months has taught me that anything can be put off for the sake of my child. I no longer have the urge to do anything for myself but with just a focus on settling the family down. For that I am still working hard and crossing my fingers everyday.

Working and pumping at work has not been easy , I am always 'fighting' for room and has to invite unwelcome guests out of the room which I have booked. I was shy at first of pumping in a non sound proof room but as the weeks past I just did not give a wink anymore. I just do my motherly duty , pump , store and back to work. It was all going well until we got the confirmation that all of us will be invited to the sales conference in Vegas.

I am glad that we are finally given the chance to attend this conference but on the other hand I do not want to disrupt my bf schedule. I am very very vex over the whole bf thing , by July Sophie will only be about four months plus. I aim to provide for her until she reaches her sixth month. It is not too long from now and I just do not want to jeopardise it.

I have been thinking about pumping and storing while I am overseas but due to logistics limitation I will not be able to do that without running out of baggage allowance. So I have decided either I drink it up or dump it away. Both are not my preferred choices. It is a sad thing to throw away milk that you have work hard for.

Being a mom has not been easy for me. I still struggle with my choices and there are many inconveniences. Inconvenient in terms of lugging my pump bag everywhere I go , limitations in terms of the attire I wear. I have also been dealing with the issue of lower self confidence. I can hardly fit into my old clothings and I feel auntie like in my current wear.

Life as a mother has changed me physically and mentally.

It is amazing what a little human being can do to you.